Hello and welcome viewerfriends. We have arrived at the penultimate episode of Married at First Sight UK, not counting next Monday’s reunion. God, just wait until next week when E4 starts airing MAFS AU. That show has at least 35 episodes and so many reunions.
Tonight it’s the first part of the final vows where 2.5 of the remaining five couples will make the decision whether to keep on trucking in their not-legally-binding marriages, or to break up on national TV. This episode will feature Matt and Dan, Mar and Frank, and ends on a cliffhanger with Amy and Josh.
I’m going to be honest here, viewerfriends. In terms of most interesting elements of the show, the final vows are usually the dullest. When ranked most to least interesting, it goes: reunion, dinner party, commitment ceremony, wedding, homestay, final vows.
And the reason it is thus is because by time of the final vows, there’s usually very little mystery left; the couples either like each other or don’t. This year, it’s really only Morag and maybe Josh that are real wildcards. We can kind of predict what’s happening with the others.
Anyway, on to the show. We see the couples preparing to separate ahead of the vows and find out that one partner will stay and the other will head home for the week.
Out on the balcony, we see Matt drinking what looks to be a Berroca and after last night I bet he needs it, the bon vivant. Dan says he’s happy that now the process is over he’ll no longer have to poke and prod other people’s relationships. Matt nods along even though we know the man enjoys poking into people’s lives more than Stacy Dooley.
Upstairs (or wherever) a cool Franky tries to hide his sadness as Mar packs her suitcase. He tells the camera that he is excellent at goodbyes, just like he is at everything else but his face tells another story as he mournfully waves Mar out of the bunker.
Elsewhere Dan makes Matt laugh by telling him he’s prepared him a snack for the journey and then handing him a squash, a bell pepper and a cucumber. Ah herbivorous comedy. An acquired taste – just like a raw veg diet.
Amy and Josh are messing around as he packs up before heading back to London. Things seem very relaxed between the pair for once. Amy tells the camera that as an ancient crone of 34 (good lord) time is a-wasting and she needs to know if Josh is the one. Back in the room, Josh tells Amy that he won’t miss her sage and crystal and other mystical accoutrements. She tells Josh not to forget about her and you know what he does then, viewerfriends? He rolls his eyes, mirroring Amy’s favourite expression.
Mirroring as we know is a good sign. Maybe they will stick together? We’ll find out tomorrow I suppose since the show ends on a cliffhanger.
She hugs him goodbye, clinging on to him like a baby koala to a fireman before returning to the couch to place a pointy look crystal on her forehead. Okay.
Mel pops up and tells us that at this crucial (aren’t they all!) point in the experiment the couples will want to seek the advice of loved ones on what do next.
Matt is back (for good?) in Leeds for a pre-renewal chat with his mother. She has not changed her skepticism that sincere love can be found on an E4 dating show. She prods about where they’ll live – why won’t Dan come to Leeds? She tells the camera that although she believes Matt is in love, she doesn’t know it can last in the real world.
She tells Matt that she suspects that the time apart will make them feel differently and when Matt asks if she feels Dan is genuine she says “Yes..but is he a good actor?” This is the type of mother you want in your corner. I’m not surprised he’s reluctant to move away from this gal. She tells him she her hope is that he’s not being hoodwinked.
Back in the apartment Dan is video chatting with his parent on the balcony. He raises concerns about Matt being able to handle a change of pace in rural Antrim, especially at this “late time” of his life. He hangs up and sips his broccoli infused cold press, looking pensively into the middle distance.
Up in Yorkshire, Marilyse is hanging with her glamorous sister and mate. She tells them that if she was childless, she would love to move to Dubai with Franky, but since he’s one who’ll be doing the moving, the pressure is on her to be certain about the strength of her feelings. Her mate tells her not to feel guilty if it doesn’t work out.
It’s the day of the renewals. There’s tense music playing as Matt puts on his suit, and as Dan walks through the forest sock-less (seriously, no one wears socks anymore.) The couple’s vow renewal takes place on a lovely manicured walk next to a lake. The meet at the lakeside and Matt goes first with his vows/decision. The speech is very nice but it’s all stuff we’ve heard before. “I love you, Dan,” says matt. “And that is why, for me, there is no real decision.” Aw.
“I will always have your back and you will always have my heart,” he finishes.
Daniel’s vows are similar to Matt’s – all about finding love, laughter and friendship and whether moving for each other is a good idea. “Do I need to be cruel to be kind?” asks Dan. “The truth of the matter is that I’m in love with you, Matthew.” He says that he always though of himself as a slow burner until he met a flame as bright as Matt. Aww.
“This experiment has taught me that a place doesn’t define a home – it’s the person you share it with.” He finishes by saying let’s get out of here and make some memories. It’s lovely. They kiss and hug and the happy music plays. Best of lucky to ‘em. I hope Matt gets really into surfing and interpretive dance and Antrim.
Amy and Josh have separated to meet up with mates for a final bit of advice. In London, Josh chats to his mate about Amy’s tantrums. He tells him he’s worried about the age gap because it only works if both partners are moving at the same speed and right now, Amy is moving full speed ahead to Husband and Baby Town. Josh tells the camera that his head is “scrambled”.
Franky and Marilyse meet in the centre of a wooden ring to exchange their vows. Franky goes first and in an unexpected move, delivers his vows in rhyming verse. The final couplet reads: “On our wedding day I promised to fill our days with respect, loyalty, compassion and positivity/ I want to says these principles will never, ever cease and finally I also want to say: I love you, Marilyse.” Fair dos it is sweet and Mar looks pleased.
She reads her vows and says how proud she was to see him through battle his reticence and challenge people’s misconceptions about him. She ends by telling him that she wants him to be a continuing presence in her life. They share a lingering kiss. Franky tells the camera that now he knows what a “soulmate” is. Mar says she’s got everything she wants in Franky “and maybe a bit more.” Aw, okay.
And so we arrive at our final couple. We hear Josh pondering Amy’s mood swings and pall they’ve cast on their relationship thus far. He says this is a time when he needs to be selfish and think about whether he sees Amy in his future. “I really don’t want to make Amy upset so I just hope she agrees with the choice that I’ve made.” Hmmm, interesting.
Amy’s VoiceOver says the separation from Josh also forced her to reflect on the bad as well as the good in the relationship so far. “Do I go full defence mode or do I go with my heart?” She wonders.
When they meet next to some stone columns, both of them are wearing white. Amy is literally wearing a wedding dress. Josh smiles at her as she begins to read her vow. She reminds him that he was so reserved that he didn’t even kiss her on the wedding day. “I asked myself ‘am I being mugged off?’ Am I wasting my time on someone who’s just not that into me?” she reads.
And there’s where the episode finishes, right on a flipping cliffhanger.
How do you think this one is going to go, viewerfriends? I honestly am not sure about these two. Up until a few days ago I would have been certain that Josh would not be renewing his view but now I’m not entirely sure. Compare the Josh of the wedding the day – who was so standoffish with Amy that I was sure they’d be gone come the first commitment ceremony – with last dinner party Josh: holding hands, laughing and supporting Amy at the table. He has come a long way and it seems like he might really like Amy. Not as much she likes him, obviously, but enough to maybe want to continue on?
However, on the flip side, Josh has been the most consistently realistic spouse in the experiment. It’s easy – nay, actively encouraged – to get swept up in all the romantic dates and couples’ counselling. The next thing you know you’re saying ‘I love yous’ and picking out baby names after 6 weeks. Not Josh though. No amount of pressure from the production crew or the other couples or the experts could force him into a premature profession of love. And, I don’t see him saying it now either.
So, I’m quite interested it see how this goes. I think Amy will say ‘stay’ or ‘renewal’ or whatever the appropriate affirmative is, but Josh, as I said earlier is a wildcard.
We see a clip for the final episode and hear Josh read: “Making the decision I have today has not been an easy one..”. Then we see Morag tell Luke that she signed up looking for “a ready-made man, not a project”. And then we hear a ‘bombshell’ will be dropped by Adam and from the clip it’s pretty obvious that he’s going to propose for realsies.
See you then for the final, viewerfriends!
Married at First Sight UK airs at 9pm, Monday – Thursday on E4
Be Unkind, Rewind 